Some idiot parent in Golden, Colorado called the FBI on this site some time today or yesterday. If it’s your parent, please write to me. I’d love an open dialogue with the bloody moron responsible for waking me up 2 hours early.
It goes a little like this: Some kid in Golden, Colorado saw this stupid website. As an aside, I’m sure they were disappointed. It’s a bunch of idiot ramblings from a kid over a 2 year period of time, some heavy music band links, and some hastily drawn, questionable quality pictures. Big effin deal. At any rate, some kid looked at my website. His/her parent saw it, and in a fit of parental idiocy, called the FBI. The FBI took a look (and I bet were even more disappointed than the original kid was), then called the local police department. Now, I am a waiter. I wait on most of the Atascadero Police force at my place of employment. They’re all very nice, too. Boisterous and fun. It’s good. So the FBI calls them, asking if they know about me. Well, of course they do. I wait on them, and my mom is their dispatcher. So now everybody goes and looks at my site. I am very popular.
Now, what I want to know is what on earth this idiot parent was thinking. I mean, it’s not like I don’t make myself available to every type of contact there is. You can get a hold of me with four different instant messengers, I give you a form for sending me email (a total no-brainer), and even my Post Office box info. So what’s the problem? Why call the FBI? Why not talk to me? Why not use your brain a little bit?
To my way of thinking, people like you cannot exist without people like me. I mean, without evil, there can be no good, right? I’m not saying I’m evil, it’s just the contrast I was trying to show. I don’t need the church called on me, too. Fuckin’ morons.
But I digress.
I have had the FBI called on me. The FBI looked at my website in an official capacity. My local police department looked at my website in an official capacity. This is a new zenith for me and my dumb-shit creativity. Branches of US government are interested in what I have to say. I have achieved popularity beyond my humble dreams, all because some stupid parent is too concerned for their own good.
As long as I’m talking about it, I think I’m going to insult whoever it was that stuck their nose into this thing. I mean, any parent who would call the FBI over a personal website has got problems, I think. My best guess is that they’re overly religous and / or protective. I mean, heaven forbid their kid see anything ugly. And why not contact me? Coward, maybe? What on earth makes it your business? I mean, your kid’s looking at my site. So what? It’s not like I tell anybody to do anything, so you don’t even have that angle to work with. You were just being a tattle-tail. Isn’t that something that something we discourage in 4 year old kids? You fuckin’ moron, you’re degressing at an alarming rate, and need to check yourself. Look at your motives, you fool. You are nothing but a busybody with a deranged view of how you should be as a parent. You are the reason people like Timothy McVeigh happen. You and your ilk are the reason people like me don’t like religion. You’re the reason sites like this exist. Something to think about, isn’t it?
Anyhow, I’d like to thank the FBI for looking at my site, the Atascadero Police Department for looking at my site, all my friends and fans for helping my decision not to shut it down, and I’d like to send a big, “I hope you get colon cancer,” to all the people who deserve it. You know who you are.
Some idiot parent in Golden, Colorado called the FBI on this site some time today or yesterday. If it’s your parent, please write to me. I’d love an open dialogue with the bloody moron responsible for waking me up two hours early.
It goes a little like this: Some kid in Golden, Colorado saw my stupid website. I’m sure they were disappointed. It’s a bunch of idiot ramblings from a kid over a two year period of time, some heavy music band links, and some hastily drawn, questionable quality pictures. Big effin deal. At any rate, some kid looked at my website. His/her parent saw it, and in a fit of parental idiocy, called the FBI. The FBI took a look (and I bet were even more disappointed than the original kid was), then called my local police department. Now, I am a waiter. I wait on most of the Atascadero Police force at my place of employment. They’re all very nice, too. Boisterous and fun. It’s good. So the FBI calls them, asking if they know about me. Well, of course they do. I wait on them, and my mom is their dispatcher. So now everybody goes and looks at my site. I am very popular.
Now, what I want to know is what on earth this idiot parent was thinking. I mean, it’s not like I don’t make myself available to every type of contact there is. You can get a hold of me with four different instant messengers, I give you a form for sending me email (a total no-brainer), and even my Post Office box info. So what’s the problem? Why call the FBI? Why not talk to me? Why not use your brain a little bit?
I have had the FBI called on me. The FBI looked at my website in an official capacity. My local police department looked at my website in an official capacity. This is a new zenith for me and my dumb-shit creativity. Branches of US government are interested in what I have to say. I have achieved popularity beyond my humble dreams, all because some stupid parent is too concerned for their own good.
As long as I’m talking about it, I think I’m going to insult whoever it was that stuck their nose into this thing. I mean, any parent who would call the FBI over a personal website has got problems, I think. My best guess is that they’re overly religous and / or protective. I mean, heaven forbid their kid see anything ugly. And why not contact me? Coward, maybe? What on earth makes it your business? I mean, your kid’s looking at my site. So what? It’s not like I tell anybody to do anything, so you don’t even have that angle to work with. You were just being a tattle-tail. Isn’t that something that something we discourage in 4 year old kids? You moron, you’re degressing at an alarming rate, and need to check yourself. Look at your motives, you fool. You are nothing but a busybody with a deranged view of how you should be as a parent. You are the reason people like Timothy McVeigh happen. You and your ilk are the reason people like me don’t like religion. You’re the reason sites like this exist. Something to think about, isn’t it?
Anyhow, I’d like to thank the FBI for looking at my site, the Atascadero Police Department for looking at my site, all my friends and fans for helping my decision not to shut it down, and I’d like to send a big, “I hope you get colon cancer,” to all the people who deserve it. You know who you are.
